Tuesday, May 3, 2011

a {Simple} daisy

I lay in bed at night when things are finally still, quiet and very dark... I pray, I seek and I start to ask of God, so many questions...on my mind and in my heart.

Can I too, one day, be a rose or will I always be a simple daisy in this grand garden of yours Lord?

I question more often than not and seem to be constantly doubting myself. Constantly struggling with who I am at the roots. Meanwhile, trying to squeeze every bit that I can out of this short life, seeking where He wants me, questioning whether or not there is more that I am to do and to be, for Him.

Often times I feel so small in His kingdom. I know in my mind that I nor any one can ever live up to what He has done for us all, nor does He ask it of us, yet, I feel small in what I do for Him. Is there more? Am I in your way? Do you know that I am here? Am I doing enough for you, your Kingdom? The little things I do, do they really matter? Make a difference? To anyone, anywhere?

So very small...

Things that I do sometimes feel like small unimportant fluff.

I keep asking, is there more than this that I could do, bigger, more dramatic or maybe more daring? I start to feel ineffective when I see around me in others. They look so much bigger, so much more important and seem to get so much more accomplished in a day for you, Lord, then I do.

He speaks to me.

The phone rings, a friend who is always busy says she was in Italy and has a small gift for me. It reminded her of me. I gush, I say you shouldn't of. She says, oh it is small, but I brought it back for you. To me it was/is big.

A new neighbor stops by that I hardly know that well and hands me a gift. I thank her and am so touched that she thought of me and shared. She says that it isn't much but she wanted to share. To me it was huge.

A card comes in the mail saying, not much other than a hello and I just wanted to say hi and send you something with kind words on it.

Another note, handmade from the daughter away at school, not to busy to send a note of love.

A phone call from my husband on his way home from a long days work wants to treat me to dinner tonight, he shares with me that I need a night off from work too.

Possibly the most important indicator of true religion is the desire to love and care for people who hurt.“

~Palmer Chinchen

And I hear Him once again telling me that nothing is small when it is done through Him, through His love. Continue to be small for Me, he whispers. It all counts and it all matters. Every little thing you do, is big when it is done for Me.

God, once again, takes time out of another busy day from a busy world to hear me, comfort me, open my eyes to the big in my little and once again, He hugs me.

All of a sudden my small and simple feels ok.

It feels fine.

{Contentment comes}

through pleasing Him and Him alone.

Content in serving Him where ever I am seems to always bring me back and make me feel like the right size and the right flower for His garden.

I roll over in the dark and once again release it all to Him.

I Wake to a new morning with new hope and renewed trust.

There really is a spot in His garden for some daisy's.

Thank-you Lord,


a {simple} daisy.


Tanya said...

Thank you for being so transparent.

Beautiful post from the heart.

Christine said...

Thank-you Tanya, for taking time. hugs