The Love Dare...day two.

I had to stop in to say that day two is going super! It has not been hard to do at all! Convicting, Yes, Hard, No! Boy am I ever convicted by this first dare, Big time! I can tell you one thing for sure, and that is, I am the one who is growing and changing here and I am only on day two! In all honesty - my husband could of written this book! I'm feeling a little guilty on that part of all of this, the fact that I haven't given to him like he has given to me over the years...big gulp here....still growing everyday...and going to try and make up for lost time.

First of all my tongue is getting some training...I nag, and didn't think that I did until I had to think about my words on day one of the Dare. My first thought was that I don't tell him to do things in a mean tone, it is usually a nice tone. But ya know what, I'm not his mom. "Could you please put your shoes and paper away, could you please take the garbage out, could you, could you, could you pleeezzze!" The words, "Could ya please" have not left my mouth for two days now...well almost two days now....tonight will be a full Day two.

It really is the little things that sneak in and we don't even realize it. And the sad thing is we make our husbands feel like little boys. We are mothers to our children not our husbands, has convicted me on this first Dare Big time!

My cure for my nagging...I made a list for me of all the things I want to accomplish for my day and putting shoes and the paper away is now one of the things on my list along with taking out the garbage. My list was on the counter for anyone to sneak a peek at..guess who put the dishes in the dish washer last night while I ran the dog around the block last night? Yep the hubby...I didn't even ask for help, I guess he must of seen my list and just did it. Wow! I was planning on doing that job when I got home from the dog walk. So my new words are, I need help, or when you get a chance, it doesn't have to be now, but when you have a minute would you let me know I need your help. I mean lets get real here, we can't do all of this on our own we need help around the house every now and again. I will be using this open list as well. I'd rather have this little chore undone until I can get to myself than nag my husband. No more nagging from me.

The thing is I have always felt it so important to never belittle my husband in front of anyone, including my children. How can my children grow up to respect their father when they see their own mom nagging and treating their dad like a little boy. And guess what folks, our children treat us the way they see us treating each other. I have always thought it to be so sad to see a child telling his mom and or dad what to do, or threatening them with the wrath of mom and or dad. I was on the phone one day with a friend and his daughter yells in the back ground, "Dad, you are so much in trouble when mom gets home!" My first thought was who's mom, the daughters or the husbands!? I asked him, "was that your daughter?" He said, "Yeah, a chip right off her moms shoulder." I asked what will your wife say when she hears her snitch you off?" He said, "Oh she will look at me and in a sweet voice say honey, I thought I'd asked you to do that for me while I was gone, right in front of the kids." Wow! My first thought was, what a disrespectful little girl, but than I thought, shame on that mom. Sorry moms, that comes from us, not dad. My heart sank to my stomach and I decided there and then I'd never do that to my husband, ever! And look what I did! These little things drive our husbands away from us not to us. Dr. Phil the other day was addressing this very issue and his comment was, "My guess is that a husband who wonders away from his marriage is not hanging out with a nag." As I smuggling thought to myself, "Glad I don't nag!"...lol See what I mean, Conviction! I didn't even see this in me! This Dare book is making me look at "Me."

Where do we think they picked that naughty trait up, yep us! Here I had completely missed this part of what I was doing until I took this dare! Ugh! Dear Lord, forgive me and once again could ya cover me on this slight over sight/sin on my part.

Day two is kindness...doing kind things and continuing with our words of love...more on this later. Please let me know how you are doing with the Love Dare Challenge! Have you seen a change yet? And if so, in You or Him, or maybe Both?

Your comments are so encouraging to me, so thank-you for that! =O)

Hugs and Tugs from my heart...

~ enjoy

The Love Dare

As I was visiting Coffee at the cabin last week, I came upon a blog of hers that brought me to order a book called, "The Love Dare." It arrived yesterday, so today, I am on Dare #1 out of forty.... a dare a day for forty days.

Dave and I usually have a date on Friday evenings and I always look forward to that evening with him. Let me just state right here, date nights when the kids are grown and gone is so much easier now! As we were out to dinner, I started telling him about this movie I have heard so much about called " FireProof" and that it is on a long waiting list on netflix. He suggested that after dinner, that we just go buy it at Target. So we did, and that evening we snuggled in and watched it together.

In this movie they used the book I had just ordered from the book store, "The Love dare." One of the things that "Coffee at the cabin" shared on her blog about this book was, don't buy it to give to your spouse to use, you do it...so I am.

I feel as though Dave and I have always had a good and healthy relationship/marriage. And Dave has always felt that if it ain't broke don't fix it. So, I myself, am not seeing this as fixing anything for us, but simply making what we already have that much better.

Let me share just a little bit of day one with you here....

Love is patient

Be completely humble and gentle; be patient with one another in love - Eph. 4:2
The book goes on to state that love works! It is one of life's most powerful motivators and has far greater depth and meaning than most people realize. It always does what is best for others and can empower us to face the greatest of problems.

Let me tell you, other than a great tool for relationships, the selling pointing for me is that it's only a few pages to read a day. I could honestly read a dare for the day while in the grocery store line!

Here is the first dare out of the forty day dare plan: Day One - The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

So far today I have done pretty darn good with this one...Haven't seen Dave since last night! He was gone to work before I got up! lol

OK, joking aside, can you think of a more wonderful way to spend forty days - everyday thinking on one positive thing a day to bring into your marriage. So today, nothing negative will come out of my mouth.

What ever kind of marriage you may have, whether it is strong, mediocre or just hanging on by a very thin thread, maybe the divorce papers have been served, or maybe you are just thinking about getting married.... I highly recommend this as a book to read.

There is a war on our marriages in this country and I can really only see one person benefiting from our marriages ending, and that is the devil. We need to stand firm and turn this war back on the devil and tell him to get out...there is room for only three in my marriage and that is my husband, myself and the Lord.

One last point that I found very interesting, a little something to think about and that is, that the world tells us to "follow our hearts." Yet the Bible says that "the heart is more deceitful than all else" (Jeremiah 17 :9), and it will always pursue that which feels right at the moment. This book dares us all to think differently.

I am looking forward to 40 days of doing nothing but exploring and demonstrating genuine love.


I double Dog Dare ya all to watch the movie and take the dare....


Let me know what you think =O)


~ enjoy

P.S. A little note for those of you who already saw the movie or plan on seeing it, at the end of the movie, Kirk Cameron's real life wife stepped into kiss him at the end of the movie. He will not kiss another woman, even if it is acting. I love it!