I was in Seattle with the family during the Holiday season and as we were walking from up town to down town I happen to notice a man who was a little on the heavy side pressed against the wall of the building under the awning as he was trying to keep dry. It was extremely cold out side not to mention pouring down rain. To this day I am haunted by this man and what I saw but more so by what I could have done and did not do.

Right before we had taken off for Seattle I had found a five dollar bill in my purse that I had no idea I'd even had. I tucked it back inside my purse thinking I'd save it for a hot drink at Starbucks that day.

As we passed this man on the street I so wanted to reach down into my purse and give him that five dollars that I just discovered that very morning. We were with a group of people and kind of in a rush not to mention we were all cold and wet. When we got down to the market I asked my husband if he had noticed that man and he said that he too saw him. We were both called yet neither one of us responded. We both felt pretty bad and so decided to take the same path back to the train so that we could give him some money. By the time we got back, he was gone. My heart dropped and I felt sick.

What really tugged at my heart strings was not only was this man cold and wet, but he had no legs and was in a wheel chair. I have been finding my self praying for this man not only before I go to sleep at nights but also when I wake up and through out my the days as well.

Paul writes, "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love." Where was my love that cold wet day that Jesus put this man in my path and the five dollars in my pocketbook? Why couldn't we have simply stopped and helped him out? I bet Jesus would have not only given him food for his body but for his soul as well. I heard it said that much of the American churchgoing population, while not specifically swimming downstream, is slowly floating away from Christ.

I'd never really thought about it much but in all honesty and according to the scripture there is no such thing as a luke warm Christian. In Gods eyes they do not exist, as a matter of fact he tells us that he will spit them out of his mouth. I know His name, but does He know mine?

I need to realize that how I spend my time, my money and my energy is equivalent to choosing God or rejecting Him. I have asked myself over and over how can I too, for even a moment, compare something on this puny little earth, such as a warm drink for myself, compare to the Creator and Savior of it all.

Interestingly enough, right before this day in Seattle occurred, I had asked God to please open my eyes and my heart and let me feel the compassion for those around me. I don't want to be blind to what He has called me, to do and be here for. I don't want this walk here to be about anything.... but Him! Yet I walked right past a child of the fathers in need?

I know that I can not possibly help every homeless person in the down town area yet I am to give what I have. I had enough in my pocket book that very day to hand over to someone and make a small difference. Who knows, but what if, that very day, I prayed that my eyes and heart would be open and this man prayed for Gods help that day? I walked right past him.

I was just reading the other day that, "If life is a river, then pursuing Christ requires swimming up stream. When we stop swimming, or actively following Him, we automatically begin to be swept down stream."

Am I being swept down stream? Am I luke warm? Am I the rich in who he speaks of that sickens him? Am I giving God my left overs, or am I giving until it hurts? Are my eyes open to Him?

I think these are good questions for me to start out a New Year on.