I had to stop in to say that day two is going super! It has not been hard to do at all! Convicting, Yes, Hard, No! Boy am I ever convicted by this first dare, Big time! I can tell you one thing for sure, and that is, I am the one who is growing and changing here and I am only on day two! In all honesty - my husband could of written this book! I'm feeling a little guilty on that part of all of this, the fact that I haven't given to him like he has given to me over the years...big gulp here....still growing everyday...and going to try and make up for lost time.
First of all my tongue is getting some training...I nag, and didn't think that I did until I had to think about my words on day one of the Dare. My first thought was that I don't tell him to do things in a mean tone, it is usually a nice tone. But ya know what, I'm not his mom. "Could you please put your shoes and paper away, could you please take the garbage out, could you, could you, could you pleeezzze!" The words, "Could ya please" have not left my mouth for two days now...well almost two days now....tonight will be a full Day two.
It really is the little things that sneak in and we don't even realize it. And the sad thing is we make our husbands feel like little boys. We are mothers to our children not our husbands, has convicted me on this first Dare Big time!
My cure for my nagging...I made a list for me of all the things I want to accomplish for my day and putting shoes and the paper away is now one of the things on my list along with taking out the garbage. My list was on the counter for anyone to sneak a peek at..guess who put the dishes in the dish washer last night while I ran the dog around the block last night? Yep the hubby...I didn't even ask for help, I guess he must of seen my list and just did it. Wow! I was planning on doing that job when I got home from the dog walk. So my new words are, I need help, or when you get a chance, it doesn't have to be now, but when you have a minute would you let me know I need your help. I mean lets get real here, we can't do all of this on our own we need help around the house every now and again. I will be using this open list as well. I'd rather have this little chore undone until I can get to myself than nag my husband. No more nagging from me.
The thing is I have always felt it so important to never belittle my husband in front of anyone, including my children. How can my children grow up to respect their father when they see their own mom nagging and treating their dad like a little boy. And guess what folks, our children treat us the way they see us treating each other. I have always thought it to be so sad to see a child telling his mom and or dad what to do, or threatening them with the wrath of mom and or dad. I was on the phone one day with a friend and his daughter yells in the back ground, "Dad, you are so much in trouble when mom gets home!" My first thought was who's mom, the daughters or the husbands!? I asked him, "was that your daughter?" He said, "Yeah, a chip right off her moms shoulder." I asked what will your wife say when she hears her snitch you off?" He said, "Oh she will look at me and in a sweet voice say honey, I thought I'd asked you to do that for me while I was gone, right in front of the kids." Wow! My first thought was, what a disrespectful little girl, but than I thought, shame on that mom. Sorry moms, that comes from us, not dad. My heart sank to my stomach and I decided there and then I'd never do that to my husband, ever! And look what I did! These little things drive our husbands away from us not to us. Dr. Phil the other day was addressing this very issue and his comment was, "My guess is that a husband who wonders away from his marriage is not hanging out with a nag." As I smuggling thought to myself, "Glad I don't nag!"...lol See what I mean, Conviction! I didn't even see this in me! This Dare book is making me look at "Me."
Where do we think they picked that naughty trait up, yep us! Here I had completely missed this part of what I was doing until I took this dare! Ugh! Dear Lord, forgive me and once again could ya cover me on this slight over sight/sin on my part.
Day two is kindness...doing kind things and continuing with our words of love...more on this later. Please let me know how you are doing with the Love Dare Challenge! Have you seen a change yet? And if so, in You or Him, or maybe Both?
Your comments are so encouraging to me, so thank-you for that! =O)
Hugs and Tugs from my heart...